ThoUgths and thEoRies...

:: Love ::

2008-11-21T11:13:00.003+08:00

::
Loving without seeking reciprocation...

Loving more than wanting to be loved... is great love.

You will never know if you can do it till you try.

Little by little,
may our love pervade all directions for all time.
::

:: 会想起谁？ ::

2008-11-04T21:15:00.005+08:00

::
当一个人，

笑时，
孤单时，
不开心时，
被误会时，
需要扶持时，
不能被了解时，
感觉不踏实时，
感觉被撇下时，
感到心暖暖时，
感到无助时，
颤抖时，
哭时，

会想起谁？
::

:: 勇气 ::

2008-11-04T20:54:00.004+08:00

:: As We Visit... ::

2008-11-03T22:21:00.007+08:00

::
Remember always that we are just visitors here, travellers passing through.

Our stay here is but short and the moment of our departure unknown.

None can live without toil and a craft that provides our needs is a blessing indeed.

But if we toil without rest, fatigue and weariness will overtake us and we will be denied the joy that comes from labour's end.

Speak quietly and kindly and be not forward with either opinions or advice.

If we talk much, this will make us deaf to what others say, and we should know that there are few so wise that they cannot learn from others.

Be near when help is needed but far when praise and thanks are being offered.

Take small account of might, wealth and fame for they soon pass and are forgotten.

Instead, nurture love and strive to be a friend to all.

Truly, compassion is a balm for many wounds.

Treasure silence when we find it, and while being mindful of our duties, set time aside to be alone.

Cast off pretence and self-deception and see ourself as we really are.

Despite all appearances, no one is really evil.

They are led astray by ignorance.

If we ponder this truth often we will offer more light rather that blame and condemnation.

We, no less all beings, have the potential of goodness and perfection within.

Our mind can be pure.

Therefore, when defilements cause us to stumble and fall, let not remorse nor dark foreboding cast us down.

Be of good cheer and with this understanding summon strength and walk on.

Faith is like a lamp, and wisdom it is that makes the light burn bright.

Carry this light always and in good time the darkness will yield and we will abide in the light.

:: - Bro. Punna

:: Of its own Nature ::

2008-11-02T22:18:00.002+08:00

It's fortunate that meditation doesn't stop the brain from working, as without a functioning brain we wouldn't be alive. The brain coordinates all activity in the body-mind from the "voluntary" to the autonomic.

When we meditate, we do not allow our impulses and thoughts to translate into actions.

We simply watch our thoughts.

Looking at the thoughts, we realise that all these impulses arise in the mind.

They have a life of their own.

They arise even without conscious effort.

By not reacting to impulses, we come to understand their nature.

--Bro. Punna

感恩

2008-10-30T09:31:00.003+08:00

“道之根本在于感恩，
感恩每一个花草树木，
它们很渺小，
但它们都是别人的慈悲所化现。” （转载）

现在看到这，觉得说得真不错。
若我们连对花草树木都能抱着一颗感恩的心，更何况是对我们身边的人呢？

mixed feelings...

2008-09-01T19:52:00.003+08:00

It've been some time since the last the post. Many things took place during this time...

- moved to school hostel (RVR)

- some happenings at home (mom, bro, grandmom...)

- stepping down from the mc

- having "misundersatndings" with frens (don't understand how come it've become like that)

- built some bonds that I've never been able to last time

- rushing prof works (still doing :( )

- consolidating thots

- settling down in a new environment

Now i know that it's really not easy to settle in a new environment alone. Sometimes, the feeling of loneliness could caught me off guarded. Wanna say many thanks to my fren who accompany me during that 1st few weeks. She really helped me alot.

Recently, there are some stuffs that I dun really understand how it've turned out to be liked that. I've wondered whether I've done something towards somebody unmindfully and created an opening for misunderstanding.

Things in life are really ever-changing...

Now you see this, now you don't. Things happened that caught you unaware, until you can see that something is not very right. People, events could changed just due to a mere difference in ideologies and suggestions. Who's rite and wrong in the end? No one, people would just get hurt in the end without proper understanding about each other.

Having mixed feelngs before and after stepping down. Really doesn't know what to make out of them. It seems like there's no place to reconcile them.

:: Present ::

2008-06-13T15:49:00.003+08:00

‘Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The future has not yet come.
Looking deeply at life as it is
in the very here and now,
the practitioner dwells
in stability and freedom.
We must be diligent today.
To wait until tomorrow is too late.
Death comes unexpectedly.
How can we bargain with it?
The sage calls a person who knows
how to dwell in mindfulness
night and day
‘one who knows
the better way to live alone.’
Adapted from the Bhaddekaratta Sutta, translated by Thich Nhat Hanh

：：风动心动？：：

2008-06-11T14:42:00.007+08:00

某一天，六祖慧能来到南海法性寺，正好遇到，正好遇到印宗法師讲《涅槃經》。
那時，风吹剎幡，有二位僧人辩论风和幡，一个说是风动，一个说是幡动，兩人争执不已。六祖卻說：「不是风动，也不是幡动，而是你们的心动。」
印宗問六祖：「五祖有何传授？」六祖答道：「只讲见性，不论禅定、解脫。」
印宗問：「为何不论禅定、解脫？」六祖答：「那是二法，不是佛法，佛法是不二之法。」
印宗又問：「什么是不二之法？」六祖答:「一者善，二者不善，佛性非善非不善，這就是不二。」

所谓："心如工画師能画诸世間五蕴悉從生一切唯心造" ~华严经~

人心就如同世界上最优良的画家，能把万事万物描绘的真切而实际。色、受、想、形、识都是因我们的心有所感念而生，甚至你我所見到的万物万象，也都只是人们的心所幻化出來的，怎能算是真实呢？

:: Loving kindness, forgiveness ::

2008-06-06T11:53:00.011+08:00

Here's something which I came across recently, which I found really inspiring and it touches my heart. Forgiveness and kindness towards others, and especially towards oneself are sometimes very hard to be practiced upon.

Are there really someone out there that you can't forgive and love? When we think about it with an open heart, do we really bear it not to forgive someone who might have done so much for us in one way or another in some parts of our life? Someone who have shown us kindness no matter how insignificant it is, we can't rebut that it doesn't matter to us...

Think about their kindness....
...when you're going school in the dawn when you're young, the bus driver have to wake up so much earlier to fetch you to school...
...when you fall down, your parents, siblings, friends who've been there for you, no matter how short the duration might be...
...when you're sick, the doctor and nurses whom you've consulted...
...when you're taking your meals - the rice in your bowls, from the ever-hardworking farmers in the fields... ...when you're feeling hot in the afternoon, there's wind to relief you - mother earth's at work...
...when you do poorly for your papers, who were there to help in your revision...
...when you are lost and do not know what to do, who were there to guide you...
...when you are walking the park, who are there chirping to keep you accompany...
... etc ...

Our life journey is full of ups and downs. One meets with different people at different points in one's life. When the conditions are no longer there, things and situations changes, that's the beauty of Impermanence, as nothing stays the same forever... There are always surprises and new learning experiences waiting for us with every step we take. Is spending the precious time that one have now on hating, disliking, slandering, complaining, picking, wailing about something, someone worth while?

:: It's possible to free the heart ::
The words of the Buddha offer this truth:

~ Hatred never ceases by hatred
but by love alone is healed.
This is the ancient and eternal law. ~

If we look at ourselves truthfully, we can feel the possibility of being more compassionate, more awake, more free.

~ If it were not possible to free the heart

from entanglement in greed, hate and fear,
I would not teach you to do so. ~
- the Buddha

Anger, blame, conflict and resentment arise from our fear.
When we are afraid, our body tightens, our heart is constricted, our mind is possessed.
We cannot live wisely.
Forgiveness releases us from the power of fear.
It allows us to see with kindly eyes and rest in a wise heart.

~Live in joy, in love, even among those who hate.
Live in joy, in health, even among the afflicted.
Live in joy, in peace, even among the troubled.
Look within, be still.
Free from fear and attachment,
know the sweet joy of the way. ~
- the Buddha
[ The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace (Jack Kornfield) ]

::

Be brave and move on with positive vibes and have faith that all things will turn out to be better.
I've always believe that "Everything happens for the bEst".

sometimes....

2008-04-20T00:45:00.001+08:00

sometimes,

we really do not have to explain things too much,
just let things stay in That way, maybe it's much much better...

Does it really matter whether you've explained?
Does it really matter that no one can understand?
Does it really matter on what was said?

Does it really matter?

Things in between people are so fragile...
even between sisters, friends, etc...

Can you say that it's due to miscommunication?
or it's about trust and understanding?

everyone is with their own views and thoughts,
who can really see thru them and see things as they really are?
do you think that hurting people is one's initial intention?
i really dun think so...
will 'sorries' help?

talking too much is useless, let's prove thru' actions then...

however, since it's already like tat...
maybe it really doesn't matter..

be brave, accept them...

你知道吗？

2008-04-12T01:31:00.003+08:00

最近，觉得自己好像迷失了...

不知自己到底要什么

不知自己为了什么而在做这些事

不知自己的心在那里

不知自己的目标在那里

好像在个高压室内

彷徨了一阵，终于决定了

现在，觉得心较自在了

虽然能看清某些事情

但还是得多加努力保持欢喜心、平常心

其实，

我还是跟以前一样

耐心地做着我能做的事

无论是，

为家人

为你

还是为其他众生

我相信只要持着坚定的信念、正见与勇气

一定行的...

嗯，难行能行、难忍能忍、难舍能舍...

要加油咯～

大家要幸福呀～

sOmetimEs when we Touch...

2008-04-11T00:03:00.004+08:00

:: ::

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

:: ::

The Law of the Garbage Truck

2008-04-08T19:35:00.006+08:00

:: inspiring read~~

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood????

Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive
employee/ employer ruin your day? The mark of a successful person is
how quickly one can get back their focus on what's important. Sixteen
years ago David J. Pollay learned this lesson. He learned it in the
back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's how he explained what
happened.

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We
were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car
jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver
slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end
by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost
caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started
yelling very badwords at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at
the guy. And I mean not sarcastically ...HE WAS Friendly!!

So, I said, "Why are you doing that? This guy almost ruined your car
and sent us to the hospital!" And this is when my taxi driver told me
what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

"Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of
garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.
As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump
it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants
to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish
them well, and move on. And don't take their garbage or give it back
out... You'll be happy you did."

I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over
me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other
people: at work, at home, on the streets?
It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore."

:: Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. ::

::
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe that everything happens for a reason.
::

：：感恩善友：：

2008-04-06T17:21:00.006+08:00

园缘圈

词曲：黄康淇

* 手牵着手我们共围个圈

(Hands holding hands, we form a circle)

圈中有圈牵着我们的心

(Circle within circle, we thread our hearts together)

心牵着心我们共画个圈

(Hearts to hearts, we form a circle)

圈中有圈为生命画圆*

(Circle within circle, we draw a circle of life)

** Chorus

相聚是缘完美是圆

(Our reunion today is a condition, a completeness that is all-rounded)

让我们的缘能变得更圆

(Let our conditions become more complete)

让我们感谢父母恩情让我们圆缘

(Let us give thanks to our parents’ sacrificial love to allow us to have such wonderful condition)

惜缘是圆一切随缘

(To cherish every condition is to be complete, just like all things take on its natural course)

当你遇到挫折切莫忘记

(When you meet up with problems, please don’t forget)

我们彼此还拥有这份最圆的缘

(That we all still hold this most complete condition)

当岁月在考验我们记得为彼此画圈

(When there are times that seem to test on us, may we remember to complete each other)

把彼此的圈画得更圆圈着彼此的缘

(By supporting each other in making their condition better, for we are linked to each other)

那个星期天

2008-03-06T23:33:00.005+08:00

那个星期天...

主办的八关斋戒闭关终于圆满落幕了。

何谓八关斋戒？

这是佛陀为在家弟子制定的暂时出家修行的戒律和斋法。因为在家人俗务忙碌，无暇修行。佛陀悲悯，为让他们过一日一夜的出家人的清净生活，种出世善因；又能适应在家生活的特点，所以制定在家人的出家戒，即八关斋戒。

这八关斋戒闭关，使我担心了好一阵子，直到圆满后，我才松懈下来，但我也学到了许多东西。我想，主要担心的原因可能是第一次举办而担心吧...

话说回来，当我一松懈下来，马上就发高烧了！

一阵热，一阵冷，

一阵热，一阵冷...

吃了现成药，却好像好不起来... 那一阵阵的热度就是顽强地死赖不走...

就这样，我躺了很久，烧才逐渐退了些。

也就在我躺着，什么也不能做时的那段时间，我突然生起某些想法。。。

这样的发烧情况是我之前没有过的，我还一直在想烧几时才会退，哈哈。

当时，划过我脑海的主要念头既然是我可能会熬不过去，而就此撤手而别！心里的烦恼也暂时没去理它了。

脑里一直回想着师父在静修里所教授的六道轮回的概念，心里就越来越不安。。。

好奇怪吧? 而我担心的不是有什么事没做，而是要是死了，会转世于那里？我能保持我最后的念头不含杂念吗？能往生极乐吗？

而我给自己的答案是…我好像还没那个信心呀。。。

为了替自己打气，只好一直在心中念佛，然后告诉自己要加油。。。

（很傻吧？没关系，反正家里没人，也没人替我加油打气，只好靠自己来咯）

还好，到了夜晚时分，烧终于退了，哈哈。

那时，心里终于能松懈了！

我带着感恩的心，告诉自己，得加把劲了，不能再浪费时间了！

哇，那种感觉可真不好受呀。

阿弥陀佛。

“岁月荏苒，如梦似幻，人生一世，只在呼吸之间。”

当时的你

2008-03-06T23:17:00.012+08:00

当时的你，与现在较不同。

我记得当时的你。。。

脸上会带着

傻笑，

幸福的微笑，

满足的微笑，

天真的微笑，

感恩的微笑。。。

就是那种纯纯的微笑，让人看了忍不住会心一笑，心里也会变得暖暖的。

虽然，有时也会有些令你烦恼与头痛的事出现。

你的眉头会皱起，

但脸上绝不会完全失去那笑容，那是你让人目光离不开的时刻。

那坚强的意志与不认输的精神，不知我该说是执著还是...

你会搅尽脑汁来试着解决问题，但有时还是自然就好，

所谓“船到桥头自然直”嘛，你的问题一定能迎刃而解，以后就别多担心咯。

多想念那时的你呀

脸上的笑容，

细心的举动，

为家人着想的体贴。。。

当然，无常嘛，但我觉得有些东西还是值得保留的。。。

现在，

我很少再见到那笑容了。

里面掺了不少忧郁，烦恼，痛苦，迷惘。。。

真希望你能重新站起来，能寻回你以前所失去的乐源，走往快乐的源头，远离烦恼，坚守正道。

可能，最近你过的还不错。那就好，继续加油呀。

嗯，自然点，随缘点。。。

这世上似乎没什么是值得我们这么紧紧抓住的，他们迟早都会离去而显得不那么重要了。。。

那什么才是重要的呢？这可要想想了咯。

哈哈，写了这些，只是有点感触咯。

就希望，

你能找回那时那纯纯的笑容，

你与你所爱的人都能幸福，快乐，远离烦恼与痛苦的根源，福慧双修。

"困境总在信念面前微不足道...

小小的迈着细碎的步伐，只要肯不停的走，一样是可以行上千里地的。"

无所谓

2008-01-29T00:25:00.001+08:00

...我想，对于有些事，我或许可以开始无所谓...

也许这样，会比较好吧...

你说呢？

:: The 37 Practices of Bodhisattvas - 佛子行三十七颂 ::

2008-01-23T11:53:00.000+08:00

~ wow!! this is super inspiring! ~

The Thirty-Seven Practices of Bodhisattvas
By Ngülchu Thogme Zangpo

:: ::

Homage to Lokeshvaraya!

At all times I prostrate with respectful three doors to the supreme guru
and the Protector Chenrezig who,
though realizing that all phenomena neither come nor go,
strive solely for the welfare of migrators.

The perfect buddhas, source of benefit and happiness,
arise from accomplishing the sublime Dharma;
and as that [accomplishment] depends on knowing the [Dharma] practices,
I will explain the bodhisattvas’ practices.

1) At this time when the difficult-to-gain ship of leisure
and fortune has been obtained, ceaselessly hearing,
pondering and meditating day and night in order
to liberate others and oneself from the ocean of cyclic existence
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

2) [The mind of] attachment to loved ones wavers like water.
[The mind of] hatred of enemies burns like fire.
[The mind of] ignorance that forgets what to
adopt and what to discard is greatly obscured.
Abandoning one’s fatherland
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

3) When harmful places are abandoned,
disturbing emotions gradually diminish.
Being without distraction, virtuous endeavors naturally increase.
Being clear-minded, certainty in the Dharma arises.
Resorting to secluded places
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

4) Long-associated companions will part from each other. Wealth and
possessions obtained with effort will be left behind.
Consciousness, the guest, will cast aside the guesthouse of the body.
Letting go of this life
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

5) When [evil companions] are associated with, the three poisons increase,
the activities of listening, pondering and meditation decline,
and love and compassion are extinguished.
Abandoning evil companions
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

6) When [sublime spiritual friends] are relied upon,
one’s faults are exhausted
and one’s qualities increase like the waxing moon.
Cherishing sublime spiritual
friends even more than one’s own body
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

7) What worldly god, himself also bound in the prison of cyclic existence,
is able to protect others? Therefore, when refuge is sought,
taking refuge in the undeceiving Triple Gem
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

8) The Subduer said that all the unbearable suffering
of the three lower realms
is the fruition of wrongdoing.
Therefore, never committing negative deeds,
even at peril to one’s life,
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

9) The pleasure of the triple world, like a dewdrop
on the tip of a blade of grass,
is imperiled in a single moment.
Striving for the supreme state of neverchanging liberation
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

10) When mothers who have been kind to one since beginningless time
are suffering, what is the use of one’s own happiness?
Therefore, generating the
mind of enlightenment in order to liberate limitless sentient beings
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

11) All suffering without exception comes from
wishing for one’s own happiness.
The perfect buddhas arise from the altruistic mind.
Therefore, completely exchanging one’s own happiness
for the suffering of others
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

12) Even if others, influenced by great desire,
steal all one’s wealth or have it stolen,
dedicating to them one’s body, possessions and virtues
[accumulated in] the three times
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

13) Even if others cut off one’s head when one is utterly blameless,
taking upon oneself all their negative deeds by the power of compassion
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

14) Even if someone broadcasts throughout the billion worlds
all sorts of offensive remarks about one,
speaking in turn of that person’s qualities with a loving mind
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

15) Even if, in the midst of a public gathering,
someone exposes faults and speaks ill of one,
humbly paying homage to that person,
perceiving him as a spiritual friend,
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

16) Even if someone for whom one has cared as lovingly as his own child
regards one as an enemy,
to cherish that person as dearly as a mother does an ailing child
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

17) Even if, influenced by pride,
an equal or inferior person treats one with contempt,
respectfully placing him like a guru at the crown of one’s head
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

18) Though one may have an impoverished life,
always be disparaged by others,
afflicted by dangerous illness and evil spirits,
to be without discouragement and
to take upon oneself all the misdeeds and suffering of beings
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

19) Though one may be famous and revered by many people
or gain wealth like that of Vaishravana,
having realized that worldly fortune is without essence, to be unconceited
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

20) If outer foes are destroyed
while not subduing the enemy of one’s own hatred,
enemies will only increase.
Therefore, subduing one’s own mind with
the army of love and compassion
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

21) However much sense pleasures are enjoyed,
as [when drinking] salt water, craving still increases.
Immediately abandoning whatever things give rise to clinging and attachment
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

22) Appearances are one’s own mind.
From the beginning, mind’s nature is free
from the extremes of elaboration.
Knowing this, not to engage the mind in subject-object duality
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

23) When encountering pleasing sense objects,
though they appear beautiful like a rainbow in summertime,
not to regard them as real and to abandon clinging attachment
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

24) Diverse sufferings are like the death of a child in a dream.
By apprehending illusory appearances as real, one becomes weary.
Therefore, when encountering disagreeable circumstances,
viewing them as illusory
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

25) If it is necessary to give away even one’s body
while aspiring to enlightenment,
what need is there to mention external objects?
Therefore, practicing generosity without hope of reciprocation
or [positive] karmic results
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

26) If, lacking ethical conduct, one fails to achieve one’s own purpose,
the wish to accomplish others’ purpose is laughable.
Therefore, guarding ethics devoid of
aspirations for worldly existence
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

27) To bodhisattvas who desire the wealth of virtue,
all those who do harm are like a precious treasure.
Therefore, cultivating patience devoid of hostility
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

28) Even hearers and solitary realizers,
who accomplish only their own welfare,
strive as if putting out a fire on their heads.
Seeing this,
taking up diligent effort – the source of good qualities
– for the sake of all beings
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

29) Having understood that disturbing emotions
are destroyed by insight possessed with tranquil abiding,
to cultivate meditative concentration that
perfectly transcends the four formless [absorptions]
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

30) If one lacks wisdom, it is impossible to
attain perfect enlightenment through the [other] five perfections.
Thus, cultivating skillful means with the wisdom
that does not discriminate among the three spheres
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

31) If, having [merely] the appearance of a practitioner,
one does not investigate one’s own mistakes,
it is possible to act contrary to the Dharma.
Therefore, constantly examining one’s own errors and abandoning them
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

32) If, influenced by disturbing emotions,
one points out another bodhisattva’s faults, oneself is diminished.
Therefore, not speaking about the faults of those
who have entered the Great Vehicle
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

33) Because the influence of gain and respect causes quarreling and
the decline of the activities of listening, pondering and meditation,
to abandon attachment to the households of friends, relations and benefactors
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

34) Because harsh words disturb others’ minds and
cause the bodhisattva’s conduct to deteriorate,
abandoning harsh speech that is unpleasant to others
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

35) When disturbing emotions are habituated,
it is difficult to overcome them with antidotes.
By arming oneself with the antidotal weapon of mindfulness,
to destroy disturbing emotions such as desire the moment they first arise
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

36) In brief, whatever conduct one engages in, one should ask,
“What is the state of my mind?”
Accomplishing others’ purpose through constantly
maintaining mindfulness and awareness
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

37) In order to clear away the suffering of limitless beings,
through the wisdom [realizing] the purity of the three spheres,
to dedicate the virtue attained by making such effort for enlightenment
is the bodhisattvas’ practice.

Following the speech of the Sublime Ones
on the meaning of the sutras, tantras and their commentaries,
I have written The Thirty-Seven Practices of Bodhisattvas
for those who wish to train on the bodhisattvas’ path.

Due to my inferior intellect and poor learning,
this is not poetry that will please scholars,
yet as I have relied upon the sutras and the speech of the Sublime Ones,
I think the bodhisattva practices are not mistaken.

However, because it is difficult for one of inferior intellect like myself
to fathom the depth of the great deeds of bodhisattvas,
I beseech the Sublime Ones to forbear my errors
such as contradictions and incoherent reasoning.

By the virtue arising from this may all migrators become,
through excellent conventional and ultimate bodhicitta,
like the Protector Chenrezig who does not
abide in the extremes of existence or peace.
:: ::

- Whole text can be found here -
- Chinese version and its teachings by H.E. Garchen Rinpoche -

:: 点灯回向 ::

2008-01-22T17:04:00.001+08:00

:: ::
罪业本空由心造
心若灭时罪亦亡
心亡罪灭两俱空
是则名为真忏悔
:: ::

:: Words of Truth ::

2008-01-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

A Prayer Composed by: His Holines Tenzin Gyatso The Fourteenth Dalai Lama of Tibet.

= Honoring and Invoking the Great Compassion of the Three Jewels; the Buddha, the Teachings,and the Spiritual Community. =

:: ::
O Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, and disciples
of the past, present, and future:
Having remarkable qualities
Immeasurably vast as the ocean,
Who regard all helpless sentient beings
as your only child;
Please consider the truth of my anguished pleas.

Buddha's full teachings dispel the pain of worldly
existence and self-oriented peace;
May they flourish, spreading prosperity and happiness through-
out this spacious world.
O holders of the Dharma: scholars
and realized practitioners;
May your ten fold virtuous practice prevail.

Humble sentient beings, tormented
by sufferings without cease,
Completely suppressed by seemingly endless
and terribly intense, negative deeds,
May all their fears from unbearable war, famine,
and disease be pacified,
To freely breathe an ocean of happiness and well-being.
And particularly the pious people
of the Land of Snows who, through various means,
Are mercilessly destroyed by barbaric hordes
on the side of darkness,
Kindly let the power of your compassion arise,
To quickly stem the flow of blood and tears.

Those unrelentingly cruel ones, objects of compassion,
Maddened by delusion's evils,
wantonly destroy themselves and others;
May they achieve the eye of wisdom,
knowing what must be done and undone,
And abide in the glory of friendship and love.

May this heartfelt wish of total freedom for all Tibet,
Which has been awaited for a long time,
be spontaneously fulfilled;
Please grant soon the good fortune to enjoy
The happy celebration of spiritual with temporal rule.

O protector Chenrezig, compassionately care for
Those who have undergone myriad hardships,
Completely sacrificing their most cherished lives,
bodies, and wealth,
For the sake of the teachings, practitioners,
people, and nation.

Thus, the protector Chenrezig made vast prayers
Before the Buddhas and Bodhisativas
To fully embrace the Land of Snows;
May the good results of these prayers now quickly appear.
By the profound interdependence of emptiness
and relative forms,
Together with the force of great compassion
in the Three Jewels and their Words of Truth,
And through the power
of the infallible law of actions and their fruits,
May this truthful prayer be unhindered
and quickly fulfilled.
:: ::

= This prayer, Words of Truth, was composed by His Holiness Tenzin Gyatso, the Fourteenth Dalai Lama of Tibet, on 29 September 1960 at his temporary headquarters in the Swarg Ashram at Dharamsala, Kangra District, Himachal State, India. This prayer for restoring peace, the Buddhist teachings, and the culture and self-determina-tion of the Tibetan people in their homeland was written after repeated requests by Tibetan government officials along with the unanimous consensus of the monastic and lay communities. =

[ 狡童 ]

2008-01-15T20:38:00.000+08:00

"彼狡童兮，不与我言兮。维子之故，使我不能餐兮。
彼狡童兮，不与我食兮。维子之故，使我不能息兮。"

::
在翻阅诗经时瞄到这首诗, 而读了之后认为,这是一首很有意思的诗呢.
但要看在什么意境了, 因为它所带的些含意正中在下之意.
::

..thinking back..

2008-01-15T20:05:00.000+08:00

Much things have happened for the past one year.
One can really see impermanence taking place at all these times.
If I'm to reflect back, it can get quite brain-draining to a certain extent.
Often, I wonder how I've manage to go through this rough year.

By taking refuge and having more faith in the Triple Gems helps.
One conclusion which I could deduce is:
It's really very important to train and strengthen our Mind and to take gd care of our Heart!
Thus, I've make an aspiration this year to go for at least 1 complete meditation course no matter what to further train my weak mind.

Rinpoche said, just chant MANI, just Do it...
"I will, Rinpoche."
After spending some time in the Om Retreat and met the Rinpoche himself, I realized that actually everything is very simple. What's not simple, is our mind. Our mind is always playing tricks on us, leading us towards the wrong directions much too often...

Recently, I realized too that it's very important to practice the 'Middle Path'.
I think i'm more of a dualistic person, who can only see the "right" and "wrong".
In my world, it's hard for me to say that "there's no right or wrong".
But now, I came to realise that there's actually no definite right and wrong and there's always this grey area somewhere in between.

One more thing is that, don't harbour expectations so as to reduce getting disappointment and hurt in the end. Don't think that things are absolute. There's nothing fix and concrete, everything is subject to change.
But sometimes, it's just too hard not to thou. Most important thing is that, to always take care of your mind in every moment!

Patience.
This is another virtue that one should try to cultivate I would think.
Be patient when you can't help a person.
Be patient when you can't improve a situation.
Be patient when you can't talk things out with a person for now.
Be patient when times are bad.
Be patient when you're feeling helpless.
Be patient when you're practising.
....

just be patient....
slowly....

..slowly...

..all things will change for the better...
....continue to practice...

May all mother sentient beings and I be well and happy.
May all mother sentient beings and I be free from sufferings.
May all mother sentient beings and I purify our minds.
May all our actions, thoughts and speech come from a true and pure mind.
May all mother sentient beings and I never be separated from the Triple Gems.

...........

The Dalai Lama on the Practice of Compassion

2007-10-27T13:35:00.000+08:00

The actual beneficiary of the practice of compassion and caring for others is oneself.

We may have the impression that the main beneficiaries of the practice of compassion are those on the receiving end; that the practice of compassion is relevant only for those concerned about others and irrelevant for those who are not, because its main benefit goes to others. This is a mistake. The immediate benefit of practicing compassion is actually experienced by the practitioner.

- The Dalai Lama, Illuminating the Path to Enlightenment

dinner...

2007-10-26T00:58:00.000+08:00

Just had nice dinner this evening...
basically, i noe the answer already, but it was further confirmed tdy...

hm.. nvm ba.. hope all will be fine and smooth for my friend...

...thank you for all that you've done...

...may your future fills with joy and happiness always...

...may you be able to progress well onto the path...

...may you have good conditions at all times...

................
26th OCt

reflecting... again....

2007-10-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

recently...

....All sort of emotions and thoughts are coming in and out.... rise and fall... again and again...

sadness...

anger...

disappointment...

concern...

remorse...

unhappiness...

guilt...

anticipation...

peace...

loneliness...

jealousy...

nervousness...

frustration...

joy...

nostalgia...

pain...

pity...

sympathy...

worry...

etc....u just name it.....

it's the 1st time in my life which I can vividly feel so many of these emotions so strongly at a short period of time.

I keep telling myself to maintain positive mind-state at all times, don't fall trap to my defilements and weakness of the mind. Trying hard to listen to what Shifu told me and practice what she said, but they still keep coming back...

after the rise and fall of an emotion, another one rises again... I've got no time to rest, even the same one will rise for more than 1 time...

Just watch them, you said... i'm watching...

Been reading up to look for advices...
Been trying to chant and meditate more...
Been trying to talk to the Buddha...
etc...
etc...

I'm trying to transform them into positive emotions whenever I can. I want to find my true nature, open my heart once again and be able to feel the love and compassion for all sentient beings...

I want to clear ALL my negative emotions inside me, which are "killing" me... I dun wan any anger or grudges towards anybody... I really dun like tat...

I wonder.. Am I normal?
Do people do such things when they faced with tough times?

I cant still let it go....
I don't want all of them!
I want to let it go...

I want to get out and be free!!

Let me be free... ....

Can anyone understand?
Can you understand?

It's not easy... not easy...
...haha...

Jiayou ba...

Serching for lOvE...

2007-10-24T17:30:00.000+08:00

Searching for Love...

been feeling "cold"... cant really feel the love in myself... dunno whether it's cause of the trauma.. but nonetheless....

So, I went looking and searching for answers....

den i found out that....

... the LOvE tat will not die is ..... Bodhichitta!

Just nice that I came across a tibetan practice which called "Tonglen", which is a "take and give" practice. This allows one to take in the sufferings of other sentient beings into oneself and to release and give out relief and loving kindness and happiness to them back. In this case, the other sentient beings will feel better and more at ease if the practice is done properly.

then I try to do that... ......

Wa..... it's not tat easy yah... U can really feel the pain and suffering inside you again.. engulfing pain... ... ... I'm really scare that after a hard time of settling my mind for while, I would experience that suffering again... But I still try on and hope that I could manage it... However, after talking to some ppl and I realised that I need to be happy 1st myself and to start small... If not, will make me feel more terrible de....

so i pause for while and developing my faith.. (i'll go back to the practice when I'm more ready)

I feel remorse again recently!!
It's the worse kind of negative emotions in our sense...a hindrance in our practice...
...........Why would i feel remorse?.......................
Feeling sorry that I din do a good job? feeling sorry that I was not understanding enuff... not caring enuff... not positive enuff.... ?? (well, who'll care whether I'm feeling like this...)

Shifu said no need to feel that, need to strengthen our heart and mind and not to let those external things affect our mind-state...

The past had past, dun dwell on it, let it go... no point feeling bad thou it's a good effort to reflect...

...................
24th Oct..

Healing ourselves 1st....

2007-10-20T13:13:00.000+08:00

Found an interesting read.... adapted...

--------
Why do you focus more on receiving healing blessings yourself than on giving them to others?

When we try to begin our journey on a spiritual path, finding excuses not to move forward is a typical trap for many of us. When we are not pursuing any spiritual path, we don't even think that much about caring for others, but when we are at the starting point of some worthwhile journey, we immediately begin hearing, "Oh, you're so selfish. you're enjoying peace and joy, while many others are suffering. That's not fair!" That freezes us where we are and prevents us from making any progress. At this point, we have to remember two things:

1. In order to help or heal others, we must first gain the benefit of healing blessings ourselves. It is like wanting to give money to a needy person: first we must have or make some money, because only then can we give it away.

2. Yes, according to Buddhism, especially Mahayana Buddhism, the best spiritual training is to serve the needs of others, the mother beings, with no selfish motivations. That means that our purpose in generating peace and joy in ourselves must be for the sake of others, or at least that must be our aim.

Thus we must create and feel peace and joy in ourselves with no hesitation. When we have gained these benefits, we must share them with others, with the greatest joy.

If we have peace, spontaneously all our words and actions will be expressions of peace and joy. Then, even if we are not actively sharing peace or trying to help others, our good qualities will still have a positive effect on many around us.

- Tulku Thondup, Boundless Healing: Meditation Exercises to Enlighten the Mind and Heal the Body

落花...

2007-09-30T14:27:00.000+08:00

落花

有时夕阳近黄昏
晚风吹无痕
浓浓斜日伴孤灯
有人在等，没有人问

回首往事一层层
难免有悔恨
是悲是喜一扇门
一线之分，什么才是真

见不到你的人，得不到你来疼
再爱你会不会太苯
若说两人的事，都必须尽本份
为什么你都不承认

爱得越多伤得越深
痴情的人终究是苦闷
落花随风飘，落叶不归根
问世间情是何物
直叫人生死相许
落花随风飘，忘不了心上人

你还记得我吗？

2007-09-30T14:16:00.000+08:00

《你还记得我吗》- 梁静茹

我轻轻模著乱了头发
不要再问我你还好吗
倦鸟飞晚霞孤独回家
没有人看见路边花

枫叶片片的落下染红天边的彩霞
痴痴的望著远远的地方
人在茫茫的天涯回忆渐渐溶化
我想你已经忘记了谁在牵挂

云掀开面纱半遮半掩的月
我看见它正在流泪
若说不想他是害怕难过吧
这就是爱的代价

枫叶片片的落下染红天边的彩霞
这些年你过得好吗
若说这是个惩罚这辈子别想啦
至少在梦里让我跟你说句话

你还会记得我吗记得我吗我还在这里
你知道我在等吗还在等吗好想你

你还会记得我吗记得我吗我还是你的
我终於看见你了看见你了别再离去

Cry On My Shoulder...

2007-09-18T11:14:00.000+08:00

I'm always here, since the beginning...

Cry On My Shoulder - Dsds

If the hero, never comes to you
If you need someone, you're feeling blue
If you wait for love, and you're alone
If you call your friends, nobody's home
You can run away, but you can't hide
Through a storm and through a lonely night
Then I'll show you there's a destiny
The best things in life, they are free

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder
If you need someone, who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey, oh let me know
There's a place in heaven, where we'll go
If heaven is, a million years away
Oh just call me and I'll make your day
When the nights are getting cold and blue
When the days are getting hard for you
I will always stay by your side
I promise you, I'll never hide

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder
If you need someone, who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder
If you need someone, who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

enjoy, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aQa0Wc0Zts&mode=related&search=

Are you trying to escape?

2007-09-16T00:16:00.000+08:00

Been hoping that things will improve and clarify itself as times go by... One should not have expectations, if not, disappointments will come for sure... Just let things go by themselves and take things as it is...

I've thought that I've learnt something from previous experiences and will be able to handle things better now. However, I've found out that it' not really the case. When you try to treat something with extra care mindfully, it may not turn out to be well too. Sometimes, that human efforts really can't change things and we can only watch it goes on its way. Impermanence - ever changing for the better or worse...

Is it because of ego that we suffer? Yes... Is it because of cravings or attachment that we suffer? Yes... Is it because of hatred that we suffer? Yes...

Dharma are not outside our experience, they are, in fact reflections of our actual experience. I know that if one just indulge in our memories, views and opinions, then we will always be stuck in the world and never transcend in any way. However, it's not easy to do...

It seems to me that you are still trying to escape from it all, can I do the same too?

I do not know that for all these times, have my words been of any importance to you... Thou you said so... Do you really have the faith and trust in me and you yourself? Am I liked the one whom others have mentioned to you? Someone who needs your attention? Someone who's trying to control things and people? Someone who's not trusting you? and among others?

Me, being a human being, is only a normal human being as of now... Even though I've been trying very hard to improve myself and to practice well every time. However, that doesn't mean that I'm someone who can transcend so easily in a snap of fingers... If so, I wun be here and be like this now... Just asking me to practice is not much use one, I do know the importance of practice, no doubts about that... You bear to do this yo?

While I'm trying not to have expectations on people, but people all around me are having all kinds of expectations on me, even you ba... They'll expect that I can perform miracles, I'll work things out sooner or later., that I'll be able to go thru all the tough times just like that... Do you know that I've been trying very hard already? I've been pushing myself dunno since when... I've been trying to be as positive as I can, as mindful as I can, as considerate as I can, as caring as I can... Can you see those thru the mist of all the conflicts? Do you think that since I'm someone who try to practice so I should be left aside and let me recuperate just like that? Or you have so much faith in me that I'll be fine very fast yah... haha... Am I not just another sentient being who need understanding and compassion too?

I'm confuse, i really dun understand... Been trying to reflect to find the answer, but still cant... Been trying to stable myself internally and externally... thought that i'm better already, but in fact, still not better yet...

I've been very understanding and considerate already... Even my fren said that i'm too considerate already... to an extent which i cant manage, coz i cant let the feelings and emotions out... I've been suppressing my feelings and all, even Shifu said it's not good and need to let it out, in a proper way thou...

Honestly, during this period, i've experienced fear, uncertainty, disappointment, sadness, confusion, anger, etc... I do not want them, i just hope to let them pass asap...

Do you really meant what you said earlier? You're feeling very sad and all? Why would you feel so sad when it's you who've made this choice and someone is taking care of u in the mean time too? I must have been a bad "care-taker" den, haha... Communication, trust, patience and understanding were just what we needed to clear things out.

When all I wanted was just a simple meet-up to update each other and to talk talk only, then you thought that i dun trust you.

Suffering is not to be suffered, but to be understood. If there's no need for such situation to happen, why would you want to throw yourself into it. Suffering is to be embrace and accept with ease and not trying to escape from it... Even if you can escaped for now, do you think that you can escape everytime? It'll come back again and again, until you finally know how to deal with it properly.

Till now, I really dun understand, I'm sorry, I'm doing my best already...

Sometimes, things are not what you see on the surface. Can you understand? Try listening to the hearts ba... If I've not been sensitive enough, I'm very sorry... Me too, am caught up wif all the things too...

了解...

2007-09-14T16:52:00.000+08:00

当我们对人有越深的了解，就会有越多的谅解。

不要把重心放在所见为何上，而要思索为何有所见。

其实别人只是一面镜子，照出你的模样。如果你是爱的，镜子就会反映出爱；如果你从别人的身上，看到的是丑恶的、是恨，那是因为你的内心里面就是这些东西。

当爱出了问题，不管是妒嫉、怀疑、恐惧、怨恨。。。这些都是爱的黑暗面，都是爱的不存在。你无法对它们做任何事，你做的越多，问题只会变得越严重，变得越来越复杂，然而，当你从爱下手，当你怀抱着爱，所有的问题也就消失不见了。

原则是死的，人是活的，怎么会那么死脑筋呢。日后当你要生气时，不妨这么问：“到底哪一个重要？是我的原则，还是我跟这个人的感情重要？”

通常我们越是无法原谅的人，就越是我们越需要原谅的人；我们越认为永远无法忘记的人，就是我们越需要忘掉的人。

I don't understand...

2007-09-11T22:21:00.000+08:00

I really dun understand... What's happening? Have i done something very wrong? Why can't I just understand things as they are?

I feel so confuse and helpless... Sometimes, I just want to tell myself to move on and don't care about everything... Can someone please help to explain the situation to me? I know that everything is impermanence and all things changes at one point or another. But sure there are some reasons for the changes right?

I'm feeling so stress for the past month, that I think it is getting out of control already... It's like I can't seem to pull myself from all the things and I feel so suffocating. I just want to get out! Haha, what a easy thing to say rite (escapist? haha...)
Every morning for more than 1 month, without fail, I'll wake up with nausea and a tense body... Next moment, I'll resort to coughing and vomiting in order to make myself better... I really think there's something wrong with me... How come I can't make myself better, even when I've tried very hard to transform my mind and thoughts?

What should I do?

Can someone please tell me?

I have no idea that this could be such a suffering. But I've thought that all these things are up to one's choices and mentality, things are not fix and everything can be resolved and made to improve...

However, why are we thinking so much and letting things go in that direction? Are we making things more complicated by the second? We all have choices rite? I think, those choices which we made, transform who you are and how things happen. Maybe, we should let the conditions to decide ba. But the conditions available are just one component only, you need other elements to combine together too.

What can I do?

You Are Responsible...

2007-09-02T12:18:00.001+08:00

Human nature being what it is, all of us are inclined to put the blame on others for our shortcomings or misfortunes. Do you ever give a thought for a moment that you yourself can be responsible for your own problems?

Your sorrow is caused by yourself.
Your sorrow is your own making.
You are your own liberator.

You must learn to shoulder the responsibilities of your life and to admit your own weakness without blaming or disturbing others.

As a cultured being, you must learn to solve your own problems without blaming others. If each person would try to correct himself, there would not be any trouble in this world. But many people do not make any effort to realise that they themselves are responsible for many misfortunes that befall them. They look outside themselves for the source of their troubles because they are reluctant to admit to their own mistakes.

If a man really wants to be free, he must have the courage to admit his own weakness.

You must develop the courage to admit that you have fallen victim to your weakness. You must admit when you're in the wrong. You must understand that your way of thinking also creates the conditions that give rise to your difficulties.

You must learn to guard your mind by maintaining a proper perspective so that any external happenings cannot affect your equilibrium.

In times of difficulties, work cheerfully under the most trying situations. Be courageous to accept change if change is necessary but be serene enough to what you cant change.

Be wise to understand that the worldly conditions which are common to everyone. Be wise enough to face the certain problems without being frustrated and unhappy. The difficulties are for you to overcome. One should have the wisdom to realise that selfless service do brings its own reward...

- Ven. Dr K Sri Dhammananda, extracted from "The Purpose of Life"

Love without knowledge
and knowledge without love
cannot produce a good life.
- B. Russel.

Beauty of Life

2007-09-02T12:18:00.000+08:00

The Beauty of Life is,

while we cannot undo what's done,
we can see it, understood it, learn from it and Change.

So that every new moment is spent not in
regret, guilt, fear or anger,
but in Wisdom, Understanding and love.

-Jennifer Edwards

amazingly...

2007-09-02T12:17:00.000+08:00

70028062

a day of shock and disbelief...

a day which I think changes my life...

a day which may be able to push me

backward..... or

forward...

Keep Holding On... Jiayou!

2007-08-25T12:24:00.000+08:00

To you....

Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne

You're not alone
together we stand
i'll be by your side
you know i'll take your hand
when it gets cold
and it feels like the end
theres no place to go you know i wont give in
no i wont give in.

Chorus :
Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.

So far away i wish you were here
before it's too late this could all disapear
before the doors close, and it comes to an end
but with you by my side i will fight and defend i'll fight and defend yeah yeah.

Hear me when i say, when i say
i believe nothings gonna change, nothings gonna change destiny
what ever is meant to be
will work out perfectly yeah yeah yeah yeah

Keep Holding On
'cause ya know we'll make it through we'll make it through
just stay strong cause ya know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
There's nothing you can Say, nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
Cause you know will make it through, We'll make it Through

Keep holdin on(x2)

There's nothing you can Say, nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
Cause you know will make it through, We'll make it Through .......

(dunno whether you'll get to see this anot.. but here it is...)

a penny of feelings

2007-08-24T22:40:00.000+08:00

I like this song actually... Just feel that this song describe some (not all) of my feelings now... haha..

灰色空间

原来不是白就是黑
只不过是天真呢以为
要醉得清醒要无辜的犯罪

现实的世界只有灰
坚强的太久好疲惫
想抱爱的人沉沉的睡

卷来的风暴凶猛里有种美
死了心痛就没感觉
灰色空间我是谁
记不得幸福是什么滋味

无路可退你是谁
怎么为我流泪

梦见发着光的草原
一身伤回到很久以前
我选择不恨带着平静走远
醒来后夜还是长夜

灰色空间我是谁
记不得幸福是什么滋味

无路可退你是谁
怎么为我流泪紧抱着我流泪

tough times...

2007-07-20T14:16:00.000+08:00

(i've been keeping this entry for some time... think it's time to let it out ba...)

Recently (for the past month especially), I've many things to do and settled, sometimes, I'll wonder to myself how can i possibly finish all these things?!

All these things need to be done before the new semester starts, and I'm still stuck here... I can't prepare for the new semester, can't settle myself down, can't relax and take a good rest before I need to "chiong" again...

Sometimes, I do wonder whether others can understand anot, the stress that I'm going through. With all the issues at hand, I still need to be mindful of my actions and speech, because I scare that I'll hurt the ones who are beside me...

Somtimes, I really hope that I dun hav to care about so many things and just go ahead and keep myself in a cave and enjoy the peace and solace which I may be able to find there.

All I can ask for... is that the loves one beside me can try to understand me and listen to me and I'll try be understanding of course... sometimes, it's not because I don't care, it's just that i'm too tired already... I'm a human being, who needs encouragements at times and support also.... being strong or acting strong is too tiring le..... I've tried to stay as positive as possible in as many situations as possible, think maybe it's due to my defilements ba...

You gave me strength.. i nid strength... But...
Can I have some time in settling? please don't forsake me and have faith in me...

recaps: BAW + BS Nite ^^

2007-06-11T16:15:00.000+08:00

We have our Buddhism Awareness Week (BAW) back in Feb this year, just before the Chinese New Year. What's so special this year, is that the BS Nite was right at the end of the BAW! Thus, the BS Nite is liked a Finale to the BAW. Our theme this year is "Gratitude", nice rite? and in-charge by the two project directors of BS... hehe ^^

Below are some pictures taken on the BS Nite... during and after the heart-warming event... This is one of the most interesting and special BS activity among all the other BS events, lots of hard work have been put in, especially by the BS Nite Team yo...

Enjoy!!

Inside the LT, where we held our BS Nite.. Look at the audience, they're listening attentively towards the stage.... hmmm...

Our wonderful emcees of the night, Sohan and his fren.... ^^

Our spiritual advisor, Venerable Chun Hui was giving a speech on "Gratitude" =)

Our friends from the PKS Youth Ministry, Chingwi and Aster were here, together with our alumni - Si Ling...
Yip Hon was taking pictured in front of them, hehe ^^

At the end of our last item about a ppt, the surprise came... dang dang dang.. beware...
It's the light-stick formation of the word "GRATITUDE"!!

This idea has costed the MC people some time of their sleep and meeting time.. BUt nonetheless, what i can say is that, it's beautifully done and awesome~

At the end of the BS Nite, the 28th MC council members took pictures together, haha, that's was really fun, look through and you'll see.. hehe

But xue mei was not here, if not, the whole team will be shown here.. wad a pity.. she has missed such a nice event as she's busy wif other events over at SDE i tink...

Back view of the our new BS jersey... hehe.. ^^ we all trying to act and look cool here.. haha

wow... stunning~

guys, where are you all pointing at??

a shot taken with our "Gratitude Tree", done lovely by Yiyong... he's really good at crafts i think.. he's also a nice guy too.. ^^

Above are the Charlie's angels, chin nie and CK...

yoyo, what's kwek doing with the dismantled tree? setting it to a shutter bomb?! :P
he does add spices and joy to our BS thou.. hehe...

the Charlie's Angels of NUSBS are here finally... ^^

~the BS Nite Skit team members~ they're impressive yo...

~group photos at the end of the buffet time and cleaning session~ taken nicely, i like them ^^
our logo and signboard "Gratitude" are in the middle too... yeah..

Finally, all's done and all's happy and enjoying themselves...

~oh, Jonathern was being attacked by the girls.... what happened?!~

~Final picture of the memorable nite... hee..~

~Thank you guys for helping out and really appreciates all your helps and the supports given..~ ~Lov ya guys, ^^~

"A life without gratitude is a joyless life. If we don’t have anything to be grateful about, our life is a dreary plane. Just contemplate this."
- Ajahn Sumedho

Dad's bDay~

2007-06-02T13:55:00.000+08:00

On 13th Apr 07 evening, we've a simple birthday celebration at home for dad... we've push forward the celebration, because Kuan is going Taiwan tomorrow... we all have fun and not to forget the wonderful and delicious cheese cake which mom had gotten from "Jade Crystal Cakery" ^^

dad and mom... ^^
(may they be well and happy always...)

the cake in its original form... nice rite? haha...

my parents and me and yt.. hahaa.. it looks like we're leaning towards the left side of the picture...

my parents and my bro - kuan...

me and my dear daddy... ^^

i'm in a bliss... haha, yummy yummp... hmm...

yt and me eating the cake.. =p

my cute and handsome bro.. showing his branded smile...

caught in action - mom eating her cake.... hehe..

shi and yt... haha, looked like they're trying to act cool here.. lol..

when the cake was being cut and divide out .....

the yummp cheese cake ( close-up view) ^^

We can always keep those precious memories inside us, but i think the most important thing for all of us to do is to cherish every precious moment with whoever you are with at that particular time, as they may not be there all the time. In a flash, things and people may be gone before you even know it.

~contentment~

~May all mother sentient beings be well and happy and be free from all sufferings~

CNY Renci Visit 07 ~

2007-04-12T23:02:00.000+08:00

Our bs (NUSBS) went to Renci Hospital this Chinese New Year in trying to bring some happiness and new year's atmosphere into the hospital.. hee... we gave them red packets, wrote 对联 to them, prepared some simple new year snacks, sang new year songs to each and every wards, and tried to talked to them too..

Of coz, we've our own vegetarian 鱼生(right) at the end of the whole session, and we all had a gReat tiME! You can see from the smiles on our faces, =p

We took some grEat pictures, wanna share here... Sooo EnJoy yah ^^

haha, here are albert, hong guang, our welfare director (jonathern), robby, nice bro. davis and our president - Kwek!
They were smiling so happily.. hehe... all sitting onto each's legs...

~a prim and proper group picture~
can you find me and chris (my sis yo =p) inside? hehe

opps! an informal group picture, with something going on in the process =p
behold, guys~ opps, albert was being lifted up...

a 千手观音 is the next product, looks not bad and quite convincing yah.. with seaming (our VP in front)~

can you guess who they are behind seaming? hehe...

Now, comes the 鱼生 time~ as hong guang worked in a restaurant before, thus, he was given the honour to prepare the 鱼生~ ^^ he's quite well-verse in it yo...

step 1:

step 2:
he's squeezing the juices and pouring all the toppings ^^

step 3:
let's go for it! 捞哟！

step 4:

wow.. see.. all of them enjoyed the 鱼生 yah! ... yum yum.. delicious!

smiles! happy CNY!

Outing wif Rinpoches ~ Jan 07

2007-01-28T18:24:00.000+08:00

A few days after the Om Retreat, we're very fortunate to be able to accompany the group of Rinpoches and Lamas who were in the Retreat, and have a day's outing with them. wow.....

Felt so blessed.... =p

We went to the Singapore Zoological Garden, Jurong Bird Park, Sentosa and to Andy's place near Jurong to have pizza.. hmm, yum yum... at the end of the day, we went to Little India for Nepalese Dinner.. haha, i've never thought to be able to eat such a wonderful meal in Singapore....

The four youngsters who went out with the Rinpoches and Lama, we're in the tram, hee.. (left: Yaotang, ShuiZhu, me, Amos)

WeLcome to the Musical Fountain ^^
(entrance to the FouNtain, hehe -->)

wow, check out the colourful water and lights display during the performance in the Musical Fountain~

~guys, see how the lights and water movements changes~
~yellow?~

~blue?~

~pink?~

Even though the performance is the same for dunno how long already, but it's still nice to watch it once in awhile. haha.. it can be quite interesting and provide a new experience everytime to me.. haha, i tink it does matters who do we go out with too =p

Right: the monkey in the Musical Fountain...

Righ: Tritsab Rinpoche was feeding the bird!

Next: taken near the beach in Sentosa with Rasang Rinpoche. The tree behind is very big for sure...

These are the pictures taken in the Bird Park, here Rinpoches they all were standing by the bridge beside the Flamingo Lake.

This is a group picture which include us, the "tour guides".. heez.. Can u identify who's in the picture?

Here, Rasang Rinpoche was feeding the birds.

Phew, the birds flew around him, yet he's undisturbed. See the smile on his face, I can even sense the metta that was spread by him.... (i need to learn and practice more... so ashamed)...

Haha, finally, I've gathered up enough courage and metta to feed the bird (encouraged by ShuiZhu) =p

It's my first time feeding birds, which are flying so freely around me lo... Sometimes, you'll wonder whether they'll pee onto you...

During the trip,I've seen "stunts" performed by the Rinpoches... so interesting.. the birds just kept going towards them (of coz, not all the birds, that would be "disastrous"... haha

Om Retreat 2006

2007-01-17T18:16:00.000+08:00

Om Retreat 2006 - 24 Dec to 31 Dec 2006 (Sun,10pm)
(THE 100 MILLION MANI RECITATION RETREAT)

During the December holidays last year, I went to the Om Retreat at KMSPKS with some of my Dharma Frens, such as JuNe, JuliAna, ShUi Zhu, YaO Tang, Mei XuAn, SharOn and some others. ^^ It was led by His Eminence Tritsab Gyabra Rinpoche (above).

As you can see from the picture on the left, there were many people came for the retreat and you can see the sitting arrangements too...

From this view, that's where we're sitting and we're beside the Buddha's statue...

We recited the “The Six-Syllabled Mantra 'OM MANI PADME HUNG'.

"It is the heart mantra of Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattvas (Guanyin) and the essence of the Buddhas. The mantra embodies perfect compassion, and is the core of the 84,000 Teachings of all the Buddhas.”

~ His Eminence Drubwang Konchok Norbu Rinpoche ~

Here are some of the pictures during the Retreat, some were taken by our kind sis, Juliana...

I went for the whole course and even took the Eight Precepts Ceremony, tat's the 1st time in my life.. wow.. tat's was definitely not an easy task... furthermore, i took Refuge again...

This retreat was one of the amazing one among other which I've attended...
Learnt much useful teachings, had amazing experiences, met wonderful friends...

Here's a picture taken with some frens and the Lamas at the end of the retreat.

See how happy we're.. hee..

Finally, we've accomplished it! Some members came for some days, while some came for the whole course. Nonetheless,we all have "fun" and have our fair share of "training"...

a group picture again ^^

In this picture, Edmund and other NYPBS members came to join on the last day of the retreat.

One of the motivations for coming to this retreat, was due to my earlier participation of the previous OM Retreat - which was with my SPBS seniors, especially, Shu Kai... (Thank you so much, SK)...

There were different experiences gained during the 2 retreats... For this, it ends as a starting point for somethings and an ending point to somethings...

Picture of the majestic Buddha statue in the main hall of Ven. Hong Choon Memorial Hall. ^^

X'mas Outing before Om Retreat ~~

2007-01-01T23:53:00.000+08:00

Before the Om Retreat (23-12-06 i tink :P), yao tang've organised a x'mas outing session with some of our BS frens and seniors, especially those from NYPBS and not forgetting SPBS too, hehe...

here's our big sis - Juliana, me and khim...(above)

The bEsT thing is that Khim came along with us, she can socialise with my frens very well and soon they were all talkin to each other already.. (khim, u're so amazing :P)

We have an incredible movie session (Curse of the Golden Flowers) at Cathay PictureHouse.. haha.. den we set off for dinner at a great vegetarian restaurant, 鸿阁, after dinner, we went for a stroll down the Orchard Road and then Starbucks as the Finale.. hee.. Wa, looking at the agenda, it seems like a packed schedule yah, but we all enjoyed it to the max.. .....

Below are some pictures which we've taken along the Orchard Road.. The lightings this year is almost the same as last year, but to watch them with a different group people each time, can generate different feelings and experiences.

Along the road, we saw quite a number of people selling santa's cap which has small lights attached around it.. Most prob is to attract the kids and those who wanna add a greater sense of x'mas for celebration....

Inside this picture, there are me , sharon, juliana, khim and zhi wei from NTUBS.. hee.. see the smiles on our faces, we sure were enjoying ourselves.. haha.. this picture sure has the taste of Christmas, everything is glintering red and shining gold...

Looks like we're in a farmland, buT.. we're not.. haha...

Look at this makeshift christmas tree (left), it did look real to a certain extent though... the leaves portion was made up of neon lights instead, so creative of the markeing and designing people to come up with this...

Hugging around the tree, does it reminds u of a certain type of shows? hee... keep thinking ba....

thinking........

thinking........

.........
.....
..

haha.. it the Bollywood movies :P

Yo, this is the 全家福 picture for the gathering that evening taken at 鸿阁. After a hearty and delicious meal, you can see the smiles of contentment on our faces.. hehe...

Some of the NYPBS and SPBS alumni were with us, i was bit surprised to see some of them turning up for the gathering.. - this shows that we all have a good bonding with our seniors.. hehe.. really hope that the bonds that we've forged during out BS days would stay and become stronger as time goes by with the inclusion of new BS members... =)

However, all things are dependable on conditions, we shall nature takes its course ba... (making aspirations....) May us all sbe able to strive hard and well on the path constantly with good conditions. May we all have the company of good spiritual friends. May we all be able to help ourselves and all mother sentient beings with wisdom.

jIa yOu~

poSt CaMp FeaSt ^^

2006-12-21T18:09:00.000+08:00

We have our Post-camp FeaSt @ Ridge View Residences, Extension A (EA) the next day after the Dharma Camp 2006 (on 17-12-06)!!

See our happy faces here (left)~
Wow, it really looked like a fEasT, isn't it? ~

This idea was proposed by suey lein while we were having our vegetarian steamboat at the end of the camp. We all thoght it was grEaT idea and thus went ahead with it..

Process:
Firtly, some of us went to purchase the ingredients for the choosen dishes at the nearest NTUC at Clementi.

Next, we prepared and cooked the dishes in the kitchen of EA at the 6th floor (where the girls reside, which is much more cleaner i tink =P) if i din remember wrongly. Hmm, the dishes include pasta by yiyong, soup by yip hon, vege dishes by me, suey lein and davis also i tink.. den we also have eggs cum onions by yiyong too.. green beans soup by suey lein.. not forgetting watermelon for after dinner dessert. haha.....

oH yaH, there was another Indo dish by hidayat and davis..

In addition, the guys set up the 'dining area' at the TV area at the 1st floor of EA, and we have our dinner there.. heez (hope no one will think tat we're taking up too much space that time :P)

Lastly, we gonna clear up lo.. haha, everyone helped abit even though some went off early..

I'm surprised that they know how to cook, and i was quite impressed by our seniors, yiyong and suey lein, who can cook vey well.. hehe

We all thought that the food will be alot, but in the end, we were able to finish all the food except the soup i tink :P We've a great time and the bondings got stronger.. I even get to sleep in suey lein's room for the nite, as the session ended late :P (suey lein, u're so ever nice.. =D)

Haha, indeed I could see that all of us were having fun in buying the ingredients, cooking, preparing for the 'feaSt'and eating IT!

I'm cooking the vege dish here when Hidayat took my picture :P

Looks cools yah? haha

Wanna says a BiG tHAnks to my BS frens who were in the feAst and also to those who've helped in the Dharma Camp!!

My deepest gratitude to you ALL....

After this gathering, I think that BS should have more gathering sessions like this which includes the involvement of the members in the planning, organising and executing the programs. In this way, we can help to foster a greater sense of belonging to BS and also the bondage between the BS members can be strengthen too.. A simple event like this, can create certain conditions for members to grow and learn too..

Dharma camp 2006

2006-12-18T23:51:00.000+08:00

Hee.. Here's NUSBS Dharma Camp 2006 poster by our dear marketing team..

We've the camp at KMSPKS, which is really a great 'retreat' for all of us. Although the organising part is tough and terious, but we all have enjoyed it and the camp very much..

The theme of the camp is "5 Powers", which includes Faith, Energy, Mindfulness, Concentration and wisdom.

It's a 5 days 4 nights camp and we have a great food there too.. learnt alot of useful things in the camp and see things that I can't see in the past.. the most important part is that- Faith is an important factor in being able to practise well..

After this Dharma Camp, I feel like I've grown up abit... Not only with regards to the organising skills, also include self-awareness and learning experiences in the camp.

More updates on this will be posted in later post :P

cya soon~

Coincident??

2006-12-10T23:48:00.000+08:00

Coincident??

Would like to share something interesting here today..

Today is the games trial day prior to the Dharma Camp which starts next tuesday.

Almost all the BS main com people, group leaders,logistic head and games IC went down to PKS since mid-morning. Everyone seemed excited and eager to get on with the trial, although most of them went for the GL (Group leaders) training at Shan You Counselling Centre yesterday. I really appreciates their enthusiasm, willingness to help and participate in this camp. =) Thank you, I can't do it without you all ^^

We all had fun and perspired during the trial of coz, haha.. New ideas and modifications were came up with to make the games more interesting and more meaningful.

It was already after lunch time that we decided to have our lunch. To our disapointment, the temple's lunch time hour has passed and there are no more food left.. Next, hong guan and sea ming went to the place beside the temple to check out whether there're any food stalls there.. Bad news still.. Finally, we decided to send some people to go out of the temple to packet food for the rest.

And then.. me, yi yong and kwek went to 如来斋, which is the nearest vegetarian stall around the premises. You must be wondering, why did I go too? Oh, coz only I know the way to the place mah :P

While we are walking there, we realised that it might rain soon and we did not bring any umbrella along! So we tried our best to speed up. After ordering about 11 packets, we went to the provision shop to buy some snacks to feed our stomach 1st..(we were very hungry lo..)

Soon after we bought some chips, the rains fell and we groaned.. Thinking that heaven is not helping us :P Then, we started to discuss when will the rain stop ( come to think about it, we're quite silly to even to discuss this issue, haha) Kwek started to say, "maybe it rains for a reason"). Just then, a tingling sensation ran thru me. "Hmm, maybe." I replied.

As the rain kept pouring without any signs of stopping soon, we agreed to eat our packaged lunch 1st. ALmost halfway through eating, a voice called out to me.. OH my, I was very surprised to find my senior, HM at the same coffee shop as us!! He was having his late lunch after coming out of PKS too!!

Even though I've tried to converse with him, i'm jux so stunned, jux a coincident?! It've been some time since I last saw him in person. Haha, well, I'm just too astonish and bit glad to have met him there at such a weird timing. We all chatted and then he offered to fetch us back to PKS!! It was so nice of him ^^

Then, we thot of wad kwek had commented earlier on.. ??

Finally, we sat in his car thankfully and drove out of the place. As we were driving out, I realised that the rain has just stopped somehow. It's so weird hor..hmm..

Yah, that's the interestin incident which happended today..

Hmm, coincident??

Post Exams Reflections..

2006-12-06T23:52:00.000+08:00

Wow,i'm back...

After my 1st exam battle in NUS..

During the reading weeks and exam period, I've been studying in PKS Dharma Library (in case u're wondering where did i went to). I can say that the Dharma library is a vey condusive place to study, as there are not many people around liked our CEntral LIbrary who can distract you with some gossips (wouldn't go deep into this, jux wanna emhasize that it's rEaLly a gd place to study =) hehe..).

Before the exams, I've several holidays plans which I wanted to do after my exams (to recharge and to rejuvenate!).

Here's the list:
- Prepare and get ready for the Dharma Camp 2006
- Supervise the Dharma Camp while enjoying it at the same time
- Relax and rest after the Dharma camp while catching up with my good friends
- Recharge myself at the IOO Million Mani Retreat (Om Retreat) which is held at PKS during the Christmas period till the last day of the year
- Do some reflections after my retreat
- Do more chanting
- Prepare for the next MC Retreat and BAW
- Lastly, prepare for the new sem positively by settling down my mind

Oh, it do seem like I've alot of things to do yah..haha.. Don't worry, i'll try my best to fulfill them during the hols ^^

Ok,shall stop here for the time being.. gonna get back to prepare for the camp stuffs lo =)
Tml still need to go pks to do the camp booklet :P

~Smiles~ ^^

2006-11-23T15:57:00.000+08:00

~smiles ^^

Everyday is a special and unique one, you'll never know what will happen each day.
Sometimes, we can make a great difference just by moving a small step forward.
By stepping out of our comfort zones,
we can see a total whole new world!

If you wanna do something, JUST DO IT!
Of coz after given some thoughts about it 1st (wouldn't wanna make a big mistake instead)
Just dun go round and round in circle or just sit on the fence always :P

Recently, I'm thinking... (agAin... lol)
It's easier said than done.
Well, I just wanna remind myself that I should greet everyday with gratitude and smiles ^^
regardless of any good and bad events happening around me.
Able to wake up everyday, it's already a great blessing!

Just ImaGine what one can do in one siNgLe day!! (can be quite amAziNg yo)

By treasuring each day, every moments are just as important and they can flash through in seconds without one's notice... Nothing will stay constant, the bad things too...

WeLL, treat each day as a new beginning,
maybe the most unexpected things may just pop out yo! haha..
Are you ready for the unpredictable cHallEnges??

Get Ready,
BE positive,
Jia yOu everyone ^^ (still mugging hard for exams....)

~smiles ^^

Missing someone ?!

2006-11-22T14:22:00.000+08:00

I'm missing someone, especially recently...

I
miss all the times that we've together,
miss your 'branded' smiles,
miss the breakfasts, lunches and dinners,
miss everything...

Someone once told me that missing has two types,
one is to miss with positive feelings - longing,
another which bring upon some negative feeling - obsession.

Which type am I in??

Haha, both are undesirable emotions though.

Many a times, I've asked myself why do I feel this way...
But the conclusions varies and I can't really find an answer to that.

::
Today, just today...
Suddenly, a thought came to me,
is it 'ego' that makes me unable to let go?
I can't bear the thought that 'it' is gone just like that?
- only given such a short period of time which I can't even have the chance to espress what I really feel and think to you....
- i'm just unable to accept the truth that 'this' can't work?
- or is it otherwise??

Should I have a serious talk with you?
Let you know what's on my mind,
bridging the broken rapport between us,
allowing understanding to flow seamlessly between us...

I wanna tell you how i feel so badly, yet i'm held back by fears of rejection and doubts.
::

Exams are coming and I've kept reminding myself of that, trying to stay at ease and calm, focusing on my revision.
But in vain...

Nevermind, I'll try again and harder this time,
and maybe this time,
this time,
'it' will pass on,
and I'll be able to move forward with bright smiles greeting every new day!!

Am I being silly here, well, haha, maybe lo...
I'm still stuck with ignorance.. (help me, think i gonna help myself yah..)

-- drowning now --

-- floating soon --

"~ Permanence of Impermanence ~"
"~ All are dependence arising ~"

Gonna reflect and contemplate... ...

(p.s. coz i noe the presence of blog is unknown to you, so at least i'm free to express here, heez :P)

Being Thankful .

2006-11-21T17:47:00.000+08:00

Heez.. Here're few cents of my thought after some reflections lately..

::
I'm thankful for all the things that i've access to.
I sought not the possesion of them,
but to be able to use them to benefit oneself and others.

I'm thankful for the people around me,
those who guides and helps me along the way,
those who hurts and critises me,
those who loves and pampers me,
and those who put me down.
Not taking for granted for the people around me,
treasure them and I would treasure myself and my loved ones,
for everyone has helped me in one way or another without them realising it.

I'm thankful to be able to learn the Dharma,
may I have the good conditions to realise the true teachings of the Dharma,
may I not have wrong views and assume that they're correct.
May all be able to benefit from the Dharma.
May all be well and happy ^^
::

Library venture!!

2006-11-21T15:46:00.000+08:00

Haha, guess where i've been studying for the pass few days??
It's the Dharma Library in a temple(KMS) !! Hee, the place is really a great place for people to mug or jux to relax and chill out..
And wow, the remarkable book collections there has proved to be an eye-opener for me.. Dharma books here I come ~~

The whole atmosphere is really peaceful and there's an air of Tranquility around. In there, you can discard all your worries and doubts and focus on your reading and revision. It has been a long time since I've the chance to study whole-heartedly and without a stray thought in my mind for quite awhile. Hmm, I hope the revision is gd and I'm able to perform in my coming exams..

Wah, 6 modules and all those CCA works are really tough to manage cohesively. But, I'll do my best though..

While in the library studying, i've the chance to observe how my mind works yo. When there are no distractions, one can study well. While there are distractions, one can't help but to stray to the temptations available.
I'm really thankful that i can study in such a condusive environment and may all students do well in the exams with the right understanding. =)

Sometimes, I do wonder how come i'm accessible to such good conditions compared to many people, and just can't stop reminding myself not to take things for granted and be thankful for what we have at all times.

While studying, my senior PH was asking whether to volunteer at the library, den I said:"Sure!". A fleeting conversation between us. To our surprise towards the closing time of the library, after PH asked the librarian some questions, the library asked whether we wanna help as library volunteers!! Wow, it's so amazing, haha..
Of coz,we agreed to help put after our exams and the Dharma camp. It'll be a great learning experience to help out in the library!

Moreover, PH is so nice and helped me to borrow a book <<心经 - 阿含经入门>> from the library! As I've been wanting to learn more about 心经, but haven't apply the library card yet, and here's my precious chance.. (smiling~)

Thank you PH, hehez...

Dare to let go...

2006-11-19T15:28:00.000+08:00

Do you dare to list out all your attachments on a piece of paper?
If not, why not? Are you TOO attached?

Do you dare to find the causes of each of your attachments?
If not, why not? Are you TOO attached?

Do you dare to imagine the peace without your attachments?
If not, why not? Are you TOO attached?

Do you date to walk the path of letting go of your attachemnts?
If not, why not? Are you TOO attached?

:: adapted from "The Daily Enlightenment 1" ::

someone out there?!

2006-11-18T15:54:00.000+08:00

Wow, exams is just around the corner and all those thoughts start to flush into my mind!!
What's happening? Why do it comeback again after I've thoought that it has subsided? Hmm, maybe I haven really gotteb over with it yet..hmm..

After much efforts and many heart-pinching moments, I thought I can finally let it go, but... I Still cAn'T. After some reflection, i thot that maybe it's because im a cowardy person, someone who dun dare to face the music, haha.. Well, I did try to do what I can and should not be too harse on myself ba. Missing someone is indeed a tough chore, and only you yourself know how hard it really is..

:: All things are empty in nature, why should we chase after things that are ever changing, that we can't even grab hold of and bring sufferings to ourselves? ::

:: There's only one thing wrong with you~~
you can be truly happy~~
but you do not want to be... badly enough. ::

"How good it'll be that there's people out there who can really understand you and accept you as who you really are," remarked K.

Yah, i agree.

In this society, almost everyone is looking on the superficial level and do not dare to look further and deeper. They are afraid that they would not be able to accept what they've discovered when they really looked into it. Hmm, when we asked that from others, can we really do the same for others?? When we look at others, can we picture ourselves in their shoes? "Why are some people so stubborn?" You may ask sometimes, aren't we like that too, haha..

Why don't we let our expectations a break and enjoy what we have?

"I want a TIME-OUT!!"

It's Raining again lo ~

2006-10-23T15:32:00.000+08:00

Today...

Is a slow day for me. Attended EA in earLy morning, then the Econs lecture. Then, here i'm at in the school library, doing .....

I tell myself that i'm gonna focus on getting my SW term paper done, or i'll be in real deep trouble soon. In addition, i gonna prepare for my EA test, EA presentation and Econs tut. All by Wednesday!! (Wow, that's cool hor...)

After tryin to focus on my notes, i turned and looked at the windows over to the other side of the study area. Wow, it finally rains again (other than yesterday)... haha...

I was praying for rain for the past weeks lo (sort of :P), for the weather was so bad!! It's bad still though. When one looks around the surrounding, u can actually thot that you're in a cold country with fog around. But... It's hazE!

The rain is pouring hard now, come on, don't stop yet yo... Although i know that later i'll be having troubles getting out of the school without an umbrella. (hehe) Hope the rain will make improve the weather. Due to the haze, most people has been sick lo. And this popped something into my mind...

Why are we being so complacent and easily push around by other people? When we have something or someone around us, we tend not to notice and cherish it, when it's gone, then we fall in dispair. Being mindful do help in reminding ourselves to stay at the present moment and not to focus on the past and future but NOW. Past can only serve as memories and lessons to be learnt, while future is ever changing and uncertain. So why should we think of them when we're doing something or being with someone NOW?

This present moment is ever changing too, it'll be gone in a flash before you can even notice it.

Moreover, when we're in a difficult situation, we tend to give in and said it's ok, never mind. Well, sometimes, i think we gonna have our stands and we reserve the rights to express what's on our minds and not be led around by others! Even as a good tempered person and a good buddhist, I think we should not be seem as a group of people who can be easily taken for granted by others and easily push over. When the needs arises, we can stand up and say "No" to people. It is with this good intention of not to create any conflicts that we often give in. But most do not see it as the case.

“以和为贵”cannot be used everytime. Sometimes, we need to voice out and let our presences known. if actions need to be done, it gonna be carried out and be done with. We should not be a conformist!

-- few cents of my thoughts :P --

~ Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

~The Secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, nor to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

Start of a new phrase in Life!

2006-08-16T02:07:00.000+08:00

This week, on 14 aug 2006, marks the beginning of my uni life in NUS...

People asked me questions liked, "Are you feeling excited?", "You must be very excited rite?" and etc... Most would expect me to say "Yes, of coz".

But... Honestly speakin, I'm not tat excited though. I dunnoe why, jux tat the excitement can't seem to arise in me... (hmm, mayb i shd go and investigate why)

However, i do have something to look forward to, which is to study new modules and to make some new frens!! Haha, you must be saying tat i mux b a total bore... Nvm, tat's how i feel rite now...

OH Finally, i've the chance to study chinese again... After secondary sch, I've missed Chinese like a child missing her parents.

Moreover, I'll get the chance to explore "Social Work" modules. really hope those modules in NUS will arise my interest and motivate me to greater height...

...to be continued...

Dearest blog...

2006-08-16T01:49:00.000+08:00

Hello thr...

From today onwards, we shall have alot to share together (of coz, including other readers too, lol)...

Months back, I wouldn't imaging myself blogging... But now, after thinking and 'influences' from frens, I've decided to write.

I guess blogging in here should help me to better express myself, letting my feelings and thoughts out abit, allowing my frens to know wad are some of the things that are on my mind... Sharing stuffs that I've learned and reflected on... and more and more... haha

Begining of a new lifestyle starts here... (drums rolling...)

So, i forsee that we shall have fun and tears together lo... hehe :P

p/s: please pardon my singlish and stuffs like tat, I'll always improved on tat... hehe *.*